Ashley Gronholm March 6/2016
Last night between 3:15 and 3:50 am, my husband Greg and I had the privilege to preach to a brave Christian ministry in Pakistan led by a lovely woman named Shagufta whom Jesus lead me to correspond with just under one year ago.
When the email first showed up in my ministry inbox from an email address of “God’s Preaching To All People” I was intrigued and opened it. But then felt concerned…alarmed even when I read the signature line and saw the word “Pakistan”. I immediately thought to delete the email but I believe the Holy Spirit restrained me because for one reason or another, I did not. The email was simple and to the point. The writer did not ask for money, only that I would consider preaching to their church in Pakistan! I was shocked and still felt cautious of receiving anything from someone I didn’t know from Pakistan of all places…so I ignored the email from Shagufta of “End Times Revival Church” in Pakistan.
A few weeks later another email appeared in my inbox from Shagufta. I ignored it again. And then the emails continued to show up from this mysterious woman in Pakistan until finally, in the middle of the day I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me, “Respond to Shagufta”. It was an audible voice, clear to the point and exact, and I knew the Lord had spoken to me. So, I had my assistant at the time, respond for me and ask for more information from Shagufta about her church and herself in general. Did they have a website, or contact information? How long had they been an organized church? Who was their pastor? The response was simple: Shagufta was running a Christian orphanage, school and church and wanted me to preach to them!
So, I sat on it for about a month or so. Who am I to preach to a church in Pakistan? Shouldn’t someone with more experience do that? I hate politics and avoid all news media threads to keep my sanity. Only recently, had I begun to listen and take notice of ISIS….that scary, crazy group of terrorists my 16 year old son had been talking to me about. I prayed and waited for an answer from the Lord. Finally, the answer came…and I knew I needed to obey the Lord and preach to this church, so I arranged for a Skype call with Shagufta to start the conversation and to “test the waters” to see how I felt about it afterwards…aren’t we so funny that we feel we have to know for ourselves…test the waters… instead of simply trusting God?? But, in my defense, this was A BIG RISK! What if ISIS found out I was corresponding with this group of Christian’s in Pakistan and sends crazy people to bomb my home? What if something bad happens to this church and orphanage in Pakistan because they are corresponding with me? Do they have protection? Are they safe? Am I safe…
Needless to say, I developed a newfound interest in ISIS and who they are and what they are doing. Simultaneously, my church small group was studying the book of Revelation and end times. I was hungry to know more about the “signs of the times” and to be prepared for whatever would come. What I wasn’t prepared for was the crippling fear that set in, the more and more I started to wake up to the reality that we are in the “end times” right now and that several of the “seals” have already been opened as prophesied by John the Revelator and many pastors are claiming. As I let this sink in, I started to worry. Around this time my pastor Andy Stanley spoke about how we really have nothing to fear, because we know that this life is not the end. We will be with Jesus again and will receive an inheritance that will never perish, spoil or fade. (1 Peter 2:1-9). The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I had also been providentially catching one sermon after another about end times with pastor Greg Laurie on CSN Christian Radio and began to realize that the Lord was speaking to me through these messages and that I needed to prepare myself. But the fear was so overwhelming that it literally brought me to my knees one morning….and I don’t mean prayer…I mean crippling fear…and I knew I needed to take a different approach. I needed to trust God.
So, I did what any wife who loves and trusts her husband would do. I brought it up over dinner…this fear I was fighting. I will never forget sitting in nice restaurant, eating steak and hearing my husband say as he looked straight into my eyes the words I didn’t want to hear: “Baby, a lot of people are going to die.” WHAT?!!! That wasn’t what I wanted to hear! I don’t even know what I wanted to hear….but that certainly wasn’t it! “Are you SERIOUS HON?” I replied with my mouth full of food and hanging open in awe. At that moment, I saw a side of my darling husband, that I didn’t even know existed and then fell in love with him ten times more. He had already thought all of this through over 20 years ago…during the Reagan administration…when the economy so radically changed with inflation going through the roof. He told me how he knew the American economy would never recover and that he’s been preparing for the rest of his life under that belief by being debt free and living well within his means. What do our finances have to do with a church in Pakistan? Everything! More on that later….
After the initial shock wore off…that my husband was agreeing with me…that we are living in perilous times and that I wasn’t going crazy to be in fear…and that my husband had already thought all of this through and that we needed to just accept each day as a gift and live it wisely…the conversation spun off into many different places: should be sell our city home, by 100 acres in the North Georgia mountains, take provisions, artillery and leave the life we knew if things got REALLY bad? How can we actually be safe? What about getting more provisions when ours ran out? Who would come with us, and who doesn’t? Do we need to have cows, goats and chickens? Maybe we should have started growing a garden in our back yard after all….
I’m sure this all sounds rather insane…but it affected me…so much to the point that the next morning I felt like an idiot doing my hair, putting on make-up and my cute outfit from the LOFT. “Who the heck even cares about what I am wearing?” I said to myself… I was waking up….and it felt good and horrible at the same time. Like I had been living in some fantasy movie all my life and have lived totally clueless to the suffering, struggle and poverty of so many around the world. I felt convicted and ashamed. I sought out one of my ministry advisors and I loved what she said to me. “Ashley, If the end times are here I’m not going to flee into the mountains. I am going to stay right where I am and witness to as many people as I can about Jesus. She continued… “I don’t love this world…this is not our home”.
And so, I got brave and had my first Skype call with Shagufta in Pakistan last Spring 2015. Can I just tell you that the Holy Spirit hit me like a tidal wave when I saw her face on my laptop and heard her voice! Tears fell as I heard her exclaim: “Blessings in Christ Jesus! God Bless You my Sister!” What a way to greet another fellow believer! We should seriously start saying that to each other! It’s amazing how it snapped my existence into perspective. “Blessings in Christ Jesus!” she said to me and then I said back. After all, isn’t our faith in Jesus Christ our greatest blessing?! It’s not the house we live in or the car we drive or the beautiful clothes and jewelry we wear or the pretty, elegant trips we take…OUR LIVING HOPE IS IN JESUS CHRIST!! Our GREATEST blessings flow abundantly from his GRACE! How do we so easily forget this truth…why are we not ON FIRE for Jesus ALL THE TIME…considering all the incredible blessings we have not only as believers but as Americans?
Shagufta glowed. She radiated peace and love. She was BEAUTIFUL! Her strength was evident in her voice and her confidence in the LORD…Shagufta is a WARRIOR for Jesus! Who am I??? Needless to say…I felt incredibly humbled and blessed by her and continue to be blessed by her and her people. Shagufta is risking everything to follow Jesus…her very life and the life of all the children of her orphanage and the men and women of her church could lose their very lives for following Jesus. Now, that’s what I call FAITH. I felt I was in the presence of a true, real life SAINT…because I was.
On Mother’s Day 2015 I preached to Shaguta and her church at 2:30 am in the morning. I set up my beautiful front room with the grand piano and lovely art on the walls…and immediately felt ashamed when she asked in awe, “Is that your home Sister?” What was I thinking…? I was trying to put my best foot forward choosing the loveliest room in my home to Skype from…because that what we do…right? How foolish and prideful of me! I immediately repented in my heart and asked Jesus to forgive me and that my wealth would not hinder the message….and the shame lifted.
Then the children began to sing and lift up their voices to Jesus! My sweet husband was with me as well as my daughter who was a senior in high school and son who was a sophomore to experience what felt like a moment heaven was watching…and came down to be with us…as we sat and listened to these angels praise the Lord from Pakistan. They played rudimentary instruments and clapped their hands and sang at the top of their lungs for Jesus! It was incredible…there are no words to express the joy I felt in that moment…
Then it was time to preach. Silly me! I had spent over 20 hours the week prior to that day preparing a carefully crafted message, typed and highlighted and all ready to go. But, I didn’t factor in one very important detail….Shagufta would need to translate every word I said! Suddenly I began to realize that 90 % of the message I had so painstakingly prepared would have to go…there just wasn’t enough time. And then the most beautiful thing happened….it was if certain lines floated off of the page so my eyes would take notice…I will never forget that experience with my sweet Jesus as He edited my prepared message and made it HIS…. for HIS children in Pakistan. Truly, the most important teachings were shared and the “extra stuff” I had written wasn’t needed. It was nothing short of a miracle to me!! God was glorified and I felt deep gratitude to Jesus and a love for beautiful Shagufta, the children and the men and women of her church that I just simply can’t describe. The only thing that even comes close is the love you feel for a family member you haven’t seen and are reunited with after many years of being apart…or the indescribable love you feel for your new born child! It was most certainly a Holy Spirit love….pure and undefiled. It was the love of God!!
After giving the message, I was so keyed up I couldn’t go back to sleep!! It felt like Christmas morning…but better! Praise God!! What a gift and a blessing! I glowed and wept every time I shared this experience for weeks…maybe even a month or two….and then it happened. Life slowly took over…and I had things to do…for my family, Be Free Ministry and I let the excitement and responsibility slip away…..for a while. Isn’t it so strange how that happens to us? The world can get so loud…there are so many influences competing for our attention…even screaming. We over commit ourselves and before we know it, we’ve lost perspective again. We forget once again, that this is not our home….
But praise God that Shagufta did not let me forget! She continued to reach out and to invite me to speak to hear church again. I had every intention to do so…truly I did! I even told the women of Be Free that I would plan to speak to Shagufta’s church “once a month”. But, then I had 15 one- hour long devotionals to write and three Be Free Ministry retreats to run! I had a family to take care of…I serve with the baptism ministry once per month and lead a bible study once a week as well as preparing a message for our once per month bible study gathering for Be Free at that time. I had enrolled in a ministry certification program…that I still have not finished…and I enrolled in Seminary. And that’s how it happened….I got too busy…again.
But thank goodness Jesus gives us grace, grace and more GRACE! Every time I thought of Shagufta I felt guilty and ashamed. Why haven’t I made this a priority? I would think back to that night preaching to them with my husband and my eyes would tear up and then I would say to myself…I need to Skype call her this week. And then….I would get too busy. I am so grateful Shagufta was more faithful than I. She continued to reach out through email and missed Skype calls. Until I was finally ready…to obey the Lord and engage.
Do you feel like we do this a lot with God? God will show up and offer us a good gift, and we say, Thanks God….but really we think…. no thanks. I’ve got this…I’ll get to that later…but thank you God” as if God doesn’t know our every thought we hold “secretly in our hearts” I needed to repent and obey the Lord and preach to Shagufta’s church. And I was finally ready to make that happen again last fall….but then she started asking for…heaven forbid…MONEY.
Seriously?! She wants me to send money? How MUCH money? I mean, I’m sure they need it, but couldn’t this get out of hand? If I send money will she expect it every month? Will this turn into a precedence I won’t want to keep up with? What will my husband Greg think? So we began the conversation with Shagufta. What was the money for? How would it be used? Was she willing to give an accounting of how it was spent? How do I send it? Shouldn’t I just buy what she needs and ship it to her? Shagufta was very specific. She needed $600 for clothes, school supplies and food. But, again wanting to be in control, I decided to ask the women of Be Free to donate shoes and then ship them. There. Done. I was helping and it felt better than sending $600 of my own American currency to Pakistan. Not one of my more shining moments with God….
Boy, did I have a long way to go in being “generous”. Around that same time, my pastor Andy Stanley again gave a message about how the members of North Point Community Church were incredible givers…and praised us for how much we give when he ASKS us to give. But, then he said something I didn’t expect. He told us we were not GENEROUS. What? How dare you Andy? I thought. My husband and I pay our tithing faithfully to this church and give extra when asked. How is that not being generous…but Shagufta’s request was pressing on my heart and over time I kept hearing pastor Andy’s words…you are not generous. Yikes. So, I started to ask myself, “Ok, if I’m really generous….why am I having such a hard time sending the $600 Shagufta asked me for? Hmmmmm…..
As end of the year giving rolled around…my husband Greg was diagnosed with kidney cancer…which I will write more about another time….but it was Greg who said, I want to give some money away…to people who really need it. And there it was. In 2015 we were more generous than either of us have ever been in our entire lives…at a time when we were really leaning on Jesus for strength as we faced his cancer diagnosis…and can I just tell how it lifted our burden…how incredibly freeing really….and so joyful it felt to give money away! But, the best moment for me was when I entered the amount of $600 into the Western Union bank and saw the amount it converted to in Pakistan currency…hold onto your seats everybody…our $600 in American currency converted to $61,000 in Pakistan currency!! WHAT???!!!!!!! I was smiling ear to ear!! I had NO IDEA that our money would make such an impact on their lives!! Think about it! We can easily spend that on ourselves without even batting an eye….and some of us spend that amount just taking a trip to the mall, the hair salon and getting a “mani pedi”…or spend it all at once on a new Michael Khors handbag….be honest now. I know you don’t want to admit it…but many of us have spent that much and more on ourselves on a regular basis.
Please know, I am not trying to condemn you…or your choices. I am confessing here…. that I was completely unaware of how easy it is to blow money verses saving it and sharing it with other ministries here in the US or oversees. But, I am as guilty as anyone, because I was really freaking out about sending $600 to Shagufta…until I realized two things:
- The Lord had lead me to give the money
- I needed to obey the Lord and be generous
So, Greg and I took the risk and gave the money even though we knew it would probably mean giving money again, and again and again if the Lord asked us to…and we would try to be ok with that. We had been generous in the past purchasing a retreat site for Be Free Ministry, closing two businesses to focus on the ministry full time as well as giving to people in our ministry who were in need and giving to other ministries. But this time felt different. This time we were giving money to someone we had never met and there was no way to know how this giving would affect the relationship or how to limit the amount of “asking” that might follow….but my husband and I decided to trust God and give. The reward was the deep peace and joy we felt when we gave the money. There were no tears of joy, no smile, no giant hug and thank you so so much!! We didn’t need that….because we felt the pleasure of God all over us when we hit “send”.
Once the money issue had been removed, I was ready to preach to Shagufta and her sweet church once again. I finally had a clear conscience before the Lord and could petition the Lord for help. In my preparation call with Shagufta, she told me her people had been praying for my husband that he would be healed in Jesus Name from his cancer. I thanked her and we cried and prayed together. And then it happened…she asked for more money!! I thought, here we go….but then she told me how the money we sent had provided new clothing, school supplies and food for the widows in their community! She announced that the food would be delivered on March 20th the Sunday before Easter. Then she asked me to preach to her church again on Sunday, March 6th on the “Resurrection of Jesus Christ”. I happily accepted. We praised God together and said goodbye.
Meanwhile, I had read “Radical” by David Platt and am currently leading a bible study at Be Free Ministry called “Anything” by Jennie Allen. Both books are very convicting and challenging….God is moving the soil in my heart to become a real giver…someone who gives recklessly and radically. I’m not there yet…but I am making progress. Like my sweet husband says, “Progress not Perfection”. There’s so much grace in that! I was nervous to tell Greg that Shagufta had asked for money again…and so I delayed…until the Holy Spirit lead me to mention it at 2:30 am ….I know all you men out there may be thinking “women and their timing!” but that’s when the Holy Spirit told me to say something…so I pushed past my reluctance and opened my mouth. “As you know hon, we sent Shagufta funds in December and she says the money paid for shoes, clothes, school supplies and food for the widows.” But, there’s really no way to get an accounting of that…I am just trusting the Lord.
Greg and I sat together on the couch waiting to Skype with Shagufta in Pakistan at 3 am in the morning. We prayed for guidance and for the Holy Spirit to be with us abundantly. Finally, 30 minutes later, Shagufta’s call came through…after we had been waiting an hour in the middle of the night…and the sleepy grogginess we felt disappeared as the beautiful faces of the believers in Pakistan appeared on the screen…fearless believers who are risking their very lives to believe in Jesus! AMAZING!
We began with worship and clapped along as the children played drums, clapped their hands and sang loudly and joyfully for the Lord! Greg and I shared smiles of joy at the sight of it! Then Shagufta prayed and invited me to share a message that the Lord had given me just a few hours prior after I prayed for the Lord to help me share a message that would be simple, to the point and powerful all at the same time. I had felt the Holy Spirit telling me again and again…don’t write a “sermon”. Don’t’ type anything…keep it simple…don’t strive…I’ve got this.” The Lord was faithful and a beautiful message was formed in only 40 minutes of time!
I shared the following message with “End Times Revival Church in Pakistan” by stating key phrases and then inviting Shagufta to read the in her language from her bible to save time in translating each line which was so much faster than listening to me speak and read bible verses and then wait for her to translate. It was all God’s provision and it worked beautifully!
To glorify God, I have included the exact notes and verses for you below:
JESUS IS OUR LIVING HOPE!
Message to “End Times Revival Church” in Pakistan
First Statement: “Our Living Hope is in the resurrection of Jesus Christ who has risen from the grave! Praise God!
Verse: 1 Cor 15:3,4 “Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, was buried and raised on the 3rd day by the Father. All Glory to God!
Second Statement: “Because of God’s mercy, through Jesus we have a home in heaven that will never perish, spoil or fade! No one can take this home from you! Praise be to God!
Verse: 1 Peter 1:3-9 “Praise to God for a Living Hope” Praise be to the God and Father or our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that will never perish spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him: and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Third Statement: Rejoice! Jesus has died for our sins giving us salvation for our souls and an inheritance with him in heaven! Praise be to God!
Fourth Statement: Because Jesus died for us we LOVE him and BELIEVE in him!
Repeat Verse: 1 Peter 1:8
Fifth Statement: So then, brothers and sisters in Christ, STAND FIRM IN YOUR FAITH!
Verse: 1 Cor 15:58 “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
***this verse brought a huge smile to Shagufta….
Verse: 1 Cor 15:57 “Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
We praised God for his love and then Shagufta asked me to pray for some of the women individually and then we closed with this verse…a favorite, life- saving verse that has personal importance to me. During the darkest months of my life I would wake up every night at 3:47 am. It wasn’t until the summer that I launched Be Free Ministry, that I discovered a verse in Titus 3:4-7….I will never forget how known by the Lord I felt as I read this amazing verse for the first time…and last night…at 3:47 AM as my husband and I climbed back into bed after preaching and singing Amazing Grace to Shagufta and her sweet church we praised God and giggled and his goodness…his mercy…his kindness…his GRACE taking note of the hour and the meaning and importance of this verse in our lives.
Final Verse: Titus 3:4-7
“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”
Amen and Amen!!
After preaching, Greg turned to me and we smiled and hugged. I said to him, “I don’t think this is fake…this is from the Lord. He smiled and said, “I agree.” Then he said, “I think we should send them more money.” Wow! Praise God!
If you would like to help support Shagufta, her orphanage, school and church in Pakistan, please email us using our contact form. Any amount would be a blessing!! God bless you for being generous and blessing our brothers and sisters in Christ in Pakistan!