“And this is His command; to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us.”
1 John 3:23
In a world full of so many various teachings about God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, now more than ever we must know who and what we believe in. Over the past 5 years, I have experienced more of God than I knew were possible. Looking back, if you had told me all I would see, learn and experience, the decision to believe Jesus would have been so much easier. But, that’s not how it rolls…for we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Cor 5:7).
Since my first baptism at age 8, I have done my very best to believe in Jesus. But when my adult life became messy, complicated, unloving and legalistic, keeping a right perspective became very challenging for me. Looking back, I attribute this crisis of faith, much to the fact that I knew who Jesus was, but I did not fully understand what I now call the “best part of Jesus”: His unimaginable, amazing GRACE! I did not know that true grace is a free gift when you least deserve it. The trouble comes when you believe that your good behavior will earn God’s love. Believing this lie will essentially means that you are setting yourself up for failure, because as we all well know, none of us are ever going to be that good. And believe me, I tried really, really hard!
There have been many instances where I have chosen to “walk by faith and not by sight” throughout my life, and at each fork in the road, there was a moment of choice; a conscious decision to BELIEVE and then OBEY God. Out of obedience to a clear, distinct, Holy Spirit lead voice that continued to play like a broken record in my mind “You should buy that Bible”, I purchased a bible from a Kroger grocery store. Eggs, Kleenex, dish soap, Bible…. The woman at the register said to me, “So you are going to start reading the Bible? Good for you!” I was annoyed…because I already owned a Bible and had read from it often over the years. “Why do I need a new bible…from Kroger of all places?” I thought. But, the feeling was so pervasive that I could not ignore it. That Kroger bible sat unopened, on the desk in my bedroom for over 6 months.
Each day, as I started my day, I would see it there, burning a hole in my desk, but I had no idea how in the world I could open it an actually read it because in Mormonism, I was taught to believe that a Bible obtained from any source other than through the Mormon church had been tampered with, mistranslated and was missing God’s truth and that only “truth” could be found in a Bible translated by Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet. To open that “Kroger Bible” felt like blasphemy to me and I was scared to death of it. But, there it sat, out in the open air on my desk, and I wrestled with either believing it was evil incarnate in my own bedroom or truth and light! One day, I could no longer ignore this Bible. I will never forget the moment I finally rose from my bed after crying out to God about “what to believe”. In that moment, I no longer cared what the answer was, I simply wanted God to put me out of my misery! If the truth was to be found in Mormonism I was prepared to go back. If it wasn’t, I was prepared to face whatever would come. Finally, after praying the same desperate prayer I had prayed for years in which I would plead with God not to cast me into hell for even thinking about leaving Mormonism, I decided to open up and read from my “Kroger” Bible.
And this is where my story gets really interesting! If you are a Mormon, I plead with you to read on! If you are an atheist, read on! If you are a disgruntled Christian, or simply battling daily life with a hurting soul…whoever you are and whatever your circumstances, hear me when I say that reading from my Kroger Bible that day began the beautiful unfolding of discovering the truth about who Jesus Christ truly is…and this truth has set me FREE!
Here’s what happened. I sat at my desk and placed my Kroger Bible and my Mormon Bible side by side. I opened my Kroger Bible first, straight to a chapter in Genesis and then opened my Mormon Bible to the same chapter and verse and began to read about Joseph who was sold into Egypt by his brothers. “Hmmm…what does this have to do with anything?” was the question on my mind. But, in faith, I read on. I read line by line from each of the two Bibles on my desk, looking for something…I suppose I wanted a sign…but I really didn’t have an agenda. I was totally surrendered to the Lord in that moment to lead me.
Then it happened. I came upon a footnote in my Mormon Bible which led my mind to recall an integral teaching in Mormonism that claims that Joseph of Egypt prophesied that Joseph Smith would be a prophet in the last days. My heart felt like it was going to explode inside my chest, because I knew this was very important and I began the search. I searched all throughout the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price, which are additional Mormon scripture, produced by and through Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet, who claimed to have had a vision of God and Jesus Christ. Mormon’s place great emphasis on one particular verse in the Book of Mormon, written, or as Mormon’s would call it “translated” by Joseph Smith. After reading the cross reference verses stemming from this verse in the Book of Mormon, I could not find one single footnote that referred me back to the Bible to support this claim. At each turn it was a dead end road. And, to make matters, worse, my Kroger Bible showed not one single line or footnote referencing anywhere that Joseph of Egypt “prophesied that Joseph Smith would be a latter day prophet”. And there is it was. The moment of decision had arrived.
Now, I ask you, how would anyone know that a mainstream Christian Bible in fact reveals NOT ONE TIE to Joseph Smith unless they opened that Christian Bible and read it for themselves? After all, all my life I had trusted that the so called “Joseph of Egypt prophecy” was found in EVERY Bible because that is what I had been taught. How faithful is Jesus Christ, that when I finally, mustered enough courage to open my mainstream Christian Bible, purchased at Kroger, that He would lovingly, lead me to a single verse of scripture that would obliterate the lies and reveal the truth…that would lead me to a moment of choice: to believe in Jesus Christ or Joseph Smith. That was the choice. It was clear as day.
I heard in my mind, a clear, soft gentle voice whisper, “Ashley, you can either believe in Joseph Smith or you can believe in Jesus Christ. The choice is yours.” My mind thought back over the 42 years of pain in Mormonism, the confusion, the legalism, the disappointment of religious people, the lack of grace, the crushing weight of perfectionism and never being “good enough”, and the debilitating fear of losing my salvation if I “failed to keep all my covenants”.
I then thought of Jesus. LOVE, PEACE and ACCEPTANCE enveloped me like a warm blanket. I took a deep breath, praying for strength as I chose to take the leap of FAITH and for the first time, redirect my faith upon Jesus Christ ALONE and the FREE GIFT of his GRACE!
That was the day, healing for me began. I want to be very clear, that I love my family and friends who are Mormon. They are good people who love Jesus Christ, but are misguided by false teachings. I say this with deep love and compassion for them, because I was one of them.
From the day I chose to close the Book of Mormon and read only from my Christian Bible, so many incredible miracles have transpired: a double baptism for myself and my 14 year old so in 2013 at North Point Community Church and a later invitation to serve with their baptism ministry, a choice to close my business and found a Christian Minsitry: Be Free Ministry, the release of a new Gospel CD, a choice to empty our savings account to purchase a mountain cabin so that women could attend retreats and “be still” and experience the peace of Jesus… from which healings and deliverance has occurred as well as 3 three baptisms, including my very own husband in 2015!
You see, leaving Mormonism was the hardest thing I have ever decided to do, but that decision has also opened the door to truth! Jesus had a GOOD plan for me and He has a GOOD PLAN FOR YOU!! It’s so much better than anything you could ever imagine.
TO RECEIVE the TRUTH
YOU MUST DECIDE TO BELIEVE
in JESUS CHRIST
and
WALK by FAITH.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus will gently and lovingly lead you from darkness to light. He won’t drag you kicking and screaming. That is not His way. Jesus waits for us to choose HIM. The good news is, He will call to you. He will knock at your door but he won’t kick the door down. He will walk alongside you as you fight and resist until you are finally tired enough to cry out to Him…and He will be at your side in an instant because the truth is, He never left your side. He’s been with you EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
This journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth every bit of loss and pain to finally experience the amazing GRACE of Jesus Christ! Truthfully, I tell you…I have never been more FREE….
This Christmas, I pray you will choose to BELIEVE and RECEIVE the greatest gift of all time… JESUS and HIS amazing, freeing, beautiful, unimaginable GRACE.
Who do you believe?
Scripture References: Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Cor 5:7, Heb 11:5, Revelation 3:20, Heb 3:1, Heb 2:1-4, Rev 19:22, Gal 5:1, James 1:5,6.